The Cruz de Ferro, the Iron Cross.
One of the biggest and most pivotal moments for a pilgrim.
The place to leave the stone or momento that you have been carrying during the journey, a physical representation of the emotional burdens that you have carried with you.
To be honest, initially I was underwhelmed by it.
It’s an iron cross on top of a long round wooden pole, with a small mound of clustered stones surrounding it and a slightly larger mound around it.
It’s directly next to the road and it didn’t seem very important.
I walked up and around the pole, looking at all the stones and momentos that had been left.
There were pictures, rosary’s, stones, medallions and other pieces.
I just didn’t feel the connection that I thought I would.
I placed my hand on the pieces and from my heart, I said “I’m sorry, i can’t leave my stone yet.” I immediately teared and walked away to sit on a bench nearby and contemplate how I felt.
I started with the question internally:
“Why don’t you want to leave your stone (burden) here?”
But it didn’t feel like me talking to myself.
It felt like the cross was asking me. In a very kind and respectful manner.
“I’m not ready to leave it yet, I don’t feel like I deserve to leave it yet”
“Why not” she asked
“Because I haven’t walked the whole way. I’ve taken buses, and trains and don’t feel like I put the effort in.”
“You have been carrying this burden for much longer than just your time on the Camino. You were never meant to carry it this long.”
“I am ready to let it go but just not yet. I promise that I will let it go by the time I walk into Santiago.”
“Ok.” She sighed, then she said “Can I at least make your burden lighter for you to carry until then?”
“No, please don’t. If you want to help, you can make me stronger so it doesn’t feel as heavy.”
“Ok, I will do that.”
The tears were just streaming down my face and I stood up and took one last look at the cross and continued my journey towards Santiago.
Living A Shattered Life 