I found out a short time ago that my nephew Tyson has a form of bone cancer and actually had his first chemo treatment today.
My mom had sent me a message that he had been complaining about pain in his right leg so my brother and his wife took him to the hospital. They did testing and at first, thought it was benign.
I had been texting on my Garmin InReach GPS so the conversations had been short until we came into town and I was able to use our friends WiFi.
My mom broke the news to me and I just got so angry again. Why cancer……again the o someone I love. Why my family…..again? Haven’t we been through enough in the last few years? Can’t we just have a fucking break?
It was a staggering blow to the fragile trust that I had been building in God again. It was the kind of blow that knocked the life out of me.
I walked into the kitchen and Laura could see on my face that something was wrong. She asked if I was alright and I could only shake my head no. I was afraid to speak and to lose control. She asked if it was something about Tyson and I shook my head yes and got the words out through the knot in my throat. She just came over and put her arm around me and I lost it.
It took a few days for me to stop being so angry and instead just focus on the important things. Being a support for my family and uniting to fight this together.
When my Dad was diagnosed with stage 3 esophageal cancer two years ago, our family rallied around him and we were team dad strong. Now we are team Tyson strong.
The outlook on the treatment so far, is positive and there isn’t anything I can do but send my love, positive thoughts and feeble attempts at prayer. I still feel betrayed and let down by God so the prayers are not said in the nicest of tones.
I have to wait a few more days and I will be back in the states so I can talk to him, let him know how much Auntie Stephie loves him.
That kid. He stole my heart when he was born. I was still in the military and got pictures of him as he grew up. My mom sends me regular updated pics and I try to go home at least once a year. I usually spend all my time with them. I just walk from my parents house to my brothers’ house. We don’t have to do anything, I just love being around them and talking to the kids.
It’s tough watching my nieces and Tyson grow up over Facebook but that’s how life is. I have no plans on leaving South Carolina and going back to California. That is my home now even though it kills me to be away from them.
I can only hope that they can feel my Love, even if it is currently coming all the way from Africa.