4 Questions

What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude

It was like sitting in a snowy mountain cabin. Fire burning, music playing and just relaxing on the couch. It was beautiful, quiet, warm, comfortable. The kind of love that was effortless. The kind of friendship that didn’t even require conversation. It was like the feeling that I got from riding my motorcycle on a wide open road, on the perfect day. The kind of love that brought peace to my soul.

What was it like to be loved by him? Asked Joy

I was safe, secure in his love. He always had my back. He was my best friend. He was my lighthouse. No matter how far I travelled or how bad the storms were, he guided me home. He was always down for all of my crazy plans and never said no. He was my partner in crime. He was the perfect teammate and we were perfectly matched. He was strong in the the things that made me weak.

What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow

It was like losing my anchor. It shook me to my core and destroyed me. I lost my bearings as the waves tossed me around. I didn’t just lose him. I lost the life that we had planned. I lost who he would have become. Who I would become after a lifetime of loving him. Even after all this time, I think of him daily. Miss him daily. I don’t think I’ll ever recovery from losing him. Something broke inside me that day. I locked it away until I am strong enough to face it. I don’t know if that day will ever come.

What is it like loving someone new? Asked Life

It’s hard. It’s beautiful. It’s butterflies and many tears. It’s moving forward with our lives together and honoring my past. It’s wearing a bracelet for Frank and one for Rico, on the same arm. It’s showing him all about my life but not letting him see when I break. It’s keeping that brokenness from him. Unwilling and unable to share the depth of grief with him that I feel. It’s not trusting the world. It’s fear that Rico will be taken from me as well. It’s loving him hard, crazy, and as fully as I can each day. Just in case there isn’t a tomorrow.

Author: firemaker1

When I lost the man that I loved, the life I knew shattered in an instant. Not only did I lose him in my life, I lost him and all the plans we had made for our future. This is my journey to learn to live again.

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