Missing Ashes

Been over two months now. For weeks I’ve been calling and leaving messages for the funeral director for an update about Frank’s urn and the glass keepsake I ordered.

Every time that I have had a day off during the week, I go there personally. The only one that is ever there to talk to, is an office manager Daniel, that is new and clueless. They have been holding his ashes for a while now, as his mom also ordered an urn and keepsake and they needed to portion out everything.

Daniel finally called about 3 weeks ago and said the order was there but it turned out to be his moms order and they had no idea what happened to my order. I told his mom that her pieces were ready when she could drive and get them.

She ordered a wooden box with a 8×10 picture in the front and a glass butterfly necklace. Turns out she actually ordered two but only one came in.

After another week goes by without a word, I go down there and there is still no word about my order. Since I was there anyway, I picked up his moms order since the funeral home is not close to either of us.

I picked up the box to leave and it was heavier that I anticipated it to be. Daniel, the office manager tells me he will get to the bottom of where my order is and I barely hold it together and just bawl on the drive to his moms house.

I waited another week with no word then I called and talked to Daniel last Thursday and it turns out that they think that the company they sent his ashes to, have lost the order. I.e. they lost the portion of his ashes that were sent to be created in the keepsake.

I am just sick.

I don’t understand how there isn’t a paper trail to follow, especially with certain procedures that have to be followed for shipping cremated remains.

I understand that in all actuality, it’s a small portion of ashes. Maybe only a tablespoon, but that is not the point. I trusted them with the most sacred of duties. Handling the cremated remains of my lover. I don’t care if it was a teaspoon, it was a person. That was my person. You don’t disrespect someone like that.

What if a tablespoon was all I had of him, and they lost it. Would they give a shit then?

I’m leaving work early tomorrow to pick up his ashes and get a full refund. I’m just sick that there’s no way to find the ashes that they sent. I’ve been waiting so long for the keepsake to come in so I can carry him with me and now I have to find a different company and wait until they can create it and send it back.

This has been the worst experience with customer service and treatment for a family going through a terrible loss. We can’t be the only family that is being treated this badly and it’s not right.

What can I even do at this point? Hope they find his ashes and ship them back? It’s been tough trying to find another company that looks legit and who is in the US or Canada. I think I found one but I have to get refunded before I can purchase anything since it’s all so expensive.

It’s just one blow after another and I could really just use a break.

I have an appointment with the probate court in two weeks to get authorization to be in charge of his estate and start that process.

I told my boss on Thursday after I got the news, that I needed to take a sabbatical this summer. I need to disappear and take time to grieve. I need his keepsake to be done and back to me on time so I can bring him with me.

I just never thought I would be in this situation and I could really use something to go right.

Author: firemaker1

When I lost the man that I loved, the life I knew shattered in an instant. Not only did I lose him in my life, I lost him and all the plans we had made for our future. This is my journey to learn to live again.

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